Trump Stargate AI Project Promises Interdimensional Computing, Still Can’t Find Hillary’s Emails
Trump Stargate AI Project Promises Interdimensional Computing, Still Can’t Find Hillary’s Emails
In what critics are calling “Skynet for Seniors,” the Trump Stargate AI project was unveiled yesterday at a ceremony where the teleprompter achieved sentience and resigned mid-speech.
Virtual Reality Meets Alternative Facts
“This tremendous Trump Stargate AI project will make computing so powerful, you won’t believe it. We’re talking yottabytes, beautiful yottabytes,” Trump declared while attempting to unlock his phone. “We’re going to build a digital wall, and ChatGPT is going to pay for it! The fake news media says AI stands for Artificial Intelligence, but we know it really means America Inside!”
Elongated Muskrat, watching from his orbital meditation chamber, commented: “As someone who’s invested billions in dreams that haven’t quite materialized yet, I must say I’m impressed. It’s like promising to colonize Mars but accidentally building a really expensive underground traffic jam!”
From Silicon Valley to Silicone Alley
Jeffrey Pesos, Director of E-Commerce Operations at PISR, provided his analysis: “As someone who’s rich in pesos but not in dollars, I can confirm this project will be delivered in approximately 48 hours, or your democracy back, guaranteed!”
The project promises to create 100,000 jobs, which experts note is coincidentally the exact number of times Trump has promised to reveal his healthcare plan.
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