UK Conservative Economic Policy Shock: Actually Listening to

This Conservative Economic Policy Will Shock Westminster: Basic Competence

In a groundbreaking development that has economists reaching for their smelling salts, the Conservative Party unveiled their most radical UK Conservative economic policy to date: actually listening to experts. This revolutionary approach to governance has left Westminster in disarray and caused several backbenchers to faint dramatically onto the nearest available fainting couch.

The Groundbreaking Discovery

UK Conservative economic policy, An MP studying a "Economics for Dummies" book through opera glasses while wearing a powdered wig

“We’ve made the extraordinary discovery that people who study economics for decades might know something about economics,” announced Party Chairman Geoffrey Pompington-Smythe (name entirely coincidental). “It’s quite the paradigm shift from our traditional UK Conservative economic policy of using a Magic 8-Ball for fiscal decisions.”

Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman reportedly responded via Twitter: “Congratulations to the Conservative Party for finally discovering what the rest of us call ‘Tuesday.'”

Breaking with Tradition

UK Conservative economic policy, A pie chart labeled "Conservative Decision-Making Process" divided into sections: "Gut Feeling" (45%), "What Eton Taught Me" (30%), "Vibes" (24%), and "Actual Evidence" (1%)

The controversial shift has caused ripples through the party. “What’s next?” demanded backbencher Sir Stuffington Worthington IV, “Reading briefing papers? Understanding graphs? This way lies madness!”

PISR’s Managing Editor Max Perkins offered his characteristically cynical take: “As long as you keep reading our stuff and avoid making meaningful changes in your own lives, I get paid and that’s all that matters to me. Though I must admit, watching the Tories discover basic competence is like watching a fish discover water exists.”

The Revolutionary Results

Early analysis suggests that “listening to people who know things” could potentially prevent economic disasters, though critics argue this conflicts with the sacred Conservative tradition of implementing whatever policy sounds good during port and cigars at the Carlton Club.