Watson’s ‘Sarcasm Gene’ Discovery Backfires Hilariously, Leads to Global Epidemic of Eye-Rolling

Watson’s ‘Sarcasm Gene’ Discovery Backfires Hilariously, Leads to Global Epidemic of Eye-Rolling

In a breakthrough that has the scientific community collectively arching their eyebrows into the stratosphere, Dr. James Watson, co-discoverer of DNA structure, claims to have identified the genetic marker for sarcasm. The announcement has led to an unprecedented surge in eye-rolling, with optometrists reporting a 500% increase in cases of ocular strain and a curious new condition dubbed “Chronic Irony Fatigue Syndrome.”

The DNA of Wit: Nature vs. Nurture vs. Netflix vs. Memes

According to Watson, the newly discovered gene, dubbed “SRC-ASM1,” is responsible for everything from dry wit to cutting remarks.

“It’s located right next to the gene for eye-rolling and just a few base pairs away from the inability to resist puns,” Watson explained, while demonstrating an impressively sarcastic hair flip that somehow conveyed disdain on a molecular level.

The sarcasm gene discovery backfires hilariously as it sparks a heated debate in the scientific community about the origins of humor. “Is sarcasm innate, or is it a learned behavior developed after years of watching sitcoms and scrolling through Twitter?” pondered Dr. Lisa Quip, leading researcher in the field of Comedic Genetics. “Or perhaps it’s a survival mechanism evolved to cope with the existence of reality TV and internet comments sections?”

Scientific Community Responds with Peer-Reviewed Facepalms

The reaction from Watson’s peers has been swift and, unsurprisingly, dripping with more sarcasm than a teenager’s diary. Dr. Francis Collins, former director of the National Institutes of Health, responded to the claim with a 500-page paper titled “Oh, Sure, Because That’s Totally How Genetics Works,” which primarily consists of various forms of the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoticon.

Guru Og Tritium, Content Moderator at PISR, shared his unique perspective on the matter: “Sarcasm gene? Wow, that’s like, totally groundbreaking, man. I’m so not high right now that I can totally comprehend the implications. Maybe if I stare at this DNA helix long enough, it’ll turn into a double rainbow. Hey, if these PISR people want to pay me to moderate content about sarcastic DNA, I’m down. It’s probably more interesting than watching the colors on my wall argue with each other about who’s the most vibrant. Just don’t expect me to, like, actually do anything. Sarcasm is the universe’s way of telling us nothing matters, especially not work ethic.”

As we go to press, reports are coming in of a new support group forming: “Children of Sarcasm Gene Carriers Anonymous.” Their slogan? “Oh, Great. ANOTHER Meeting. Because THAT’S What We All Need.” Ironically, attendance is at an all-time high.