A Mind-Blowing WHO Water Study Results That Will Make You Question Everything You Know About Wetness

A Mind-Blowing WHO Water Study Results That Will Make You Question Everything You Know About Wetness

In a groundbreaking WHO water study results presentation today, scientists revealed their decade-long research confirming what kindergarteners have been suggesting for generations: water is, indeed, wet. The WHO water study results, costing approximately $50 million and consuming enough coffee to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool, has finally put to rest this age-old debate.

“This WHO water study results project represents the pinnacle of modern science,” declared Dr. Hydrology McWetness, while accidentally splashing himself during the demonstration. “We employed cutting-edge methodologies such as ‘putting fingers in water’ and ‘watching ice cubes melt’ to reach this revolutionary conclusion.”

The research team’s rigorous methodology included:

– Dropping 10,000 rubber ducks into various water sources

– Asking participants if they felt “moist” after swimming

– Studying whether rain makes things wet (spoiler alert: it does)

PISR’s resident skeptic Roy Moss contributed from his bunker in Alaska: “I’ve been conducting my own experiments with my most trusted goat, Herbert. The wolves circling my cabin seem particularly interested in our findings, but I suspect they’re CIA operatives in disguise.”

Famous astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson weighed in: “In the vast cosmos, water’s wetness is merely a construct of our terrestrial experience. But yes, if you jump in a pool, you’ll get wet. I’ve done the math.”

The study has secured an additional $75 million grant to investigate other pressing questions, such as whether clouds are just sky sponges and if fish know they’re swimming.

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